How to talk to your children about first menstruation
Girls entering puberty may get their first menstruation as young as 10yrs but the average among girls in Ireland is 12 years old. The arrival of girl’s period can be greeted with happiness and relief or they can be scared and confused. Either way this is an important milestone of when girls are entering into womanhood.
Because some girls get it early (and others late) it’s good to start talking about mensturation to your children before they notice their own bodies changing. Besides, changes in children bodies will naturally ignite questions and conversations about themselves( including boys) so the best thing is to be prepared and offer the help and support before they begin and during puberty
What happens?
Menstruation is a sign that girls can get physically pregnant. The menstrual cycle is when hormone changes in women's bodies kickstart the releasing of an egg from the ovary (around day 14 of 28 day cycle) where it moves into the fallopian tubes, where it can be either fertilised with sperm, or move down into the uterus. Simplified, when the unfertilised egg breaks apart along with the uterus lining it forms droplets of blood which are known as the period.
The first few years of menstruation can be a little chaotic with mild periods coming irregularly (every 3 to 6 weeks) but this is normal. Menstruation usually begins a year or so after breast formation, but can come later. See your GP if they havent had period by 15 years old.
How to talk to children - Early and Often
As with kids, they will always be asking questions about themselves and conversations about their bodies will come up at any age. Lots of parents have already discussed puberty with their children long before it begins due to the small conversations over the years. If parents haven't yet spoken about it, remember children want to hear the truth from the people whom they trust most. If you are uncomfortable speaking about such things, remember you don't want them misinformed, so take the time to discuss these changes in a postive way.
Puberty, periods and body changes are not a negative ‘curse’ but a natural development of a human life and should be celebrated by families in an open comfortable way. Importantly, sexuality at this point of development is in it’s infancy but girls can still get pregnant at this early stage so education is paramount.
Girls might have questions like the following:
Will it hurt? Many girls and women get cramps and lower abdomen and back. Their breasts can get tender or you might feel fatigue or headaches. Exercise is the best pain relief for period pain, plus a hot bath or shower or for extreme pain an over-the-counter pain reliever.
What about tampons? Encourage your child to use whatever sanitary item ( sanitary pads, tampons, menstrual cup) she finds comfortable with and to carry on her in school, or out and about. Leaks and spills happen but it’s nothing to be ashamed about. Having spare underwear and clothes in her bag school will help if she’s worried.
How to talk to boys (too!)
Boys too will have questions about their own changes but also about their sister’s or friends who will be changing around them. Be open and honest to boys as information you supply will govern how they interact with girls around this time. Girls go through puberty a year or two before boys so they will be naturally curious. It is important that boys and girls know what each other is going through at this time.
For more on children and human development see our article on ‘birds and the bees’.