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12 year old boy is a pack member

12 year old boy is a pack member           reply
10/10/2011 22:55 - Behaviour / Discipline
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we have a 12 year old boy who is extremely bright, but wants the good life ALL the time. home work is in the way. he will be starting secondary school sept 2012.
on checking the homework i can see he is skimping the work, using a calculator for maths, guessing comprehension questions, but cannot wait to get out and run with the pack. there is an attitude of "couldn´t be bothered" within the class, which was confirmed to us by a teacher last year. this was the first teacher that the class liked but she has now gone, and this year, the new teacher is inexperienced and the kids as a class have no interest in her, this, the year when they are doing entrance exams! our fear is that if he keeps the attitude he will get so disillusioned with school hell pack it in. his friends´ (plural) parents seem to have the same attitude, where one of them is doing her son´s homework, another laughs and says his son finds school so boring, he pulled a sickie one day to go home and play the playstation and another parent who, as long as his son is at school, well, that´s good enough for him.
we are a small rural community, a lot of blow-ins, including ourselves and we are not expecting a brain surgeon for a son, but we do want him try harder...HOW



re : 12 year old boy is a pack member           reply
11/10/2011 13:06 - Behaviour / Discipline
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As a parent, you can encourage your son to work at school and you can also have a rule regarding school work. The first thing that I suggest you do is talk to your son and tell him that regardless of what the other people in his class are doing, you expect him to commit to working at school and putting a good effort in with his homework. Make a rule or a routine around homework. I suggest that you allocate a particular time that he starts his homework – you can chat with him to negotiate the time to start homework. When it comes to the time to do his homework, firstly get him to sit at an agreed place that is as free from distraction as possible. For example, at the kitchen table rather than on the couch with the TV on! You may have to supervise him for the first few weeks to ensure that he is staying focussed. Supervising him does not mean that you have to sit watching him however - you may choose the time to tidy the kitchen or read the newspaper.
The first task that he must do is to take out his homework journal so that you know what homework he has for the night. He then has to work through each item and when he has finished, you can check his work and make sure that he has put in a good effort. If he has not put in an effort or has been sloppy about the work, then get him to do it again. With regard to the calculator, I would simply confiscate it so that he cannot use it for his maths homework.
You should have a consequence for poor effort or having to get him to do the work over and over again. The consequence can be small (for example, 50 cent off his pocket money) and you have to enforce it and repeat it if necessary. This will encourage him to keep the rule of doing his homework properly.
If you do have to enforce a consequence do make sure to deliver it respectfully and encourage him to do better next time. For example, if giving him the reduced pocket money say “I really would prefer to give you the full amount but you understand that you lost some. Why not try to do better next week and get the full amount?”.
On all of our parenting workshops we emphasise that consequences must be small and repeatable so that you never run out!




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