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8 year old girl that wont mix

8 year old girl that wont mix           reply
26/11/2009 22:25 - Ask Mother Hen (Locality: Dublin North)
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I´m going out of my mind with worry. I´ve an 8 year old girl that just won´t mix at all she won´t go to other people´s houses after school when she´s asked by other kids, birthday party´s anything or any where she´s invited too she just starts crying & says she doesn´t want to go. She I also have an 6 year old boy & he´s totally different to her he´s so outgoing & mix´s with everyone. Just this evening she was invited to a party tomorrow, straight away she started crying & asked how many would be there & then said she didn´t want to go, When i asked why she said i don´t know & sobbed her heart out. I just don´t know what i should do Is there anyone that can help me I´ve no more tears left with the worry!



re : 8 year old girl that wont mix           reply
18/07/2010 17:10 - Ask Mother Hen
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My little niece used to be like this, however she is thirteen now and it is amazing the difference in her since she started secondary school. We just tried to give her all the advice we could about how to make new friends when she joined school and she has a good few now. I used to be very quiet upto the age of eighteen and learn to get more confidence and grow out of it. Now i am an extremely confident person. All you can do is support your child through these times but she probably will grow out of it...



re : 8 year old girl that wont mix           reply
30/11/2009 10:18 - Ask Mother Hen
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Hi,
That sounds like quite an anxious little lady alright! A lot of children are a bit shy and not comfortable mixing in big groups. Your little girl may not like being in large groups and so shys away from partys. That is no harm at all, she is just a shy type of person and not very confident in those situations. The first thing I would advise is that you relax about this. If you get anxious when she is invited to a party but doesn´t want to go, she will sense your anxiety and that will make it worse for her. Try not to worry and most importantly, try not to let her see that you are worried or anxious, she will sense this and feel stressed that she has let you down. Accept that she is not ´ready´ to go into that social situation yet and that will be best for both you and her.
She sounds like a shy little girl who needs to build up some confidence for mixing so how can you help with that? Does she have one or two special friends? We all know that it is easier to go into a social function with someone rather that alone! If she had a special pal or two, then it would make it easier for her if she was going to a party knowing that she could walk in with someone.
Start to help her to befriend one or two girls by arranging a playdate with these girls. Chat casually to your daughter to find out who she likes in her class etc., so that you can identify the girls that she wants to be friends with. Suggest that she can invite one or two over after school. She will be socialising with a smaller group and will also be more confident as she is at home and has you around. After a while, arrange to take her and one or two friends to a play centre. That way, she will be having fun in a place where there are lots of children and will be physically in a larger group but at all times, she knows that you are also there. Be patient and after a few times of helping her to come out of her shell, she will gain more confidence and be able go into larger social situations at a later stage.
I hope this helps - please try to relax, it will all be fine!




re... : 8 year old girl that wont mix           reply
30/11/2009 11:00 - Ask Mother Hen
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Thank you Mother Hen for your advise i will work on your advise & let you know how we´d doing!
Regards
MK23




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