Schooldays.ie - Ireland's Online Resource for Parents & Teachers

Ireland's Online Resource For Parents & Teachers in Irish Education

username: password: Log in | Register | Forgot Password?

Clever 9 year old with difficult character

re... : Clever 9 year old with difficult character           reply
21/01/2008 15:05 - Behaviour / Discipline
-----------------------------------
I see what you mean, but I´d rather leave the psychologists out. I don´t want this to become a silly battle, ANd I don´t want my son wondering why he has to go through these things when he is academically excellent and more at everything.



re... : Clever 9 year old with difficult character           reply
21/01/2008 17:17 - Behaviour / Discipline
-----------------------------------
your choice, of course, but the psychol might be able to suggest ways for the school to help ,esp if it´s a NEPS psychol attached to the school



Clever 9 year old with difficult character           reply
11/01/2008 17:13 - Behaviour / Discipline
-----------------------------------
My son is a very bright boy, who doesnt often get in trouble. But when he does, he is very hard to deal with. He has a great sense of injustice, and when he feels he has been treated unfairly, he will let the teacher concerned know, and he will attempt to run away, or start shouting abuse at his teachers. His reasons for being upset are always understandable. His reactions are not what you´d expect from a boy his age. His principal now wants him to be assessed psychologically. (He only had one incident this year, again for understandable reasons.) I don´t want him pigeonholed. His schoolwork is great, he has great friends, and he gets along fine with his new teacher. I have the feeling the principal has a personal problem with my son. ( when she had him in her class, there was constant trouble, now, with a different teacher, everything is going well). How can I deal with this? A diffiicult character doesn´t mean necessarily ADHD, which is what the principal is hinting at. It feels like a personal vendetta between her and my nine year old.



re : Clever 9 year old with difficult character           reply
03/03/2010 17:49 - Behaviour / Discipline
-----------------------------------
Roisin, I couldn´t agree with you more. Reject this negative view of your child as having something wrong with him. If he is not presenting persistently extreme challenging behaviours with all caregivers and teachers, then you have to ask yourself who is at fault - teachers do not always have the learning, skills or awareness to understand how much pedagogy - their approach - and the learning environment can contribute to creating difficult behaviours in a child. My son had what I would call an authoritarian principal in his primary school and sometimes it brought out the worst in him. He hated that school. Since he has moved to a post-primary school with an enlightened head and a more caring and respectful approach everything is a million times better. Keep faith in your son - it sounds like you would be right to do so.



re... : Clever 9 year old with difficult character           reply
21/01/2008 14:36 - Behaviour / Discipline
-----------------------------------
if a child is assessed , they do not need to carry the asssessment with the mto secondary- unless they have special needs and even then many schools want up to date assessments so will het a child re-assessed. If this is just a clash of personalities, let the assessement go ahead-if only to prove the principal wrong!



re... : Clever 9 year old with difficult character           reply
21/01/2008 14:11 - Behaviour / Discipline
-----------------------------------
I suppose I wasn´t very clear, if I would be, I´d still be writing tomorrow. He had this principal as his own teacher last year, and it just didn´t work between them. On top of that I was going through breast cancer, for wwhich he got no sup[port whatsoever in school.This year he has a different teacher, and everything was going fabulously well, untill he had the principal for the christmas celebrations. One incident with her, and she is now branding him as a disruptive child, his teacher is new and has no idea of what happened last year.
On the subject of psychological assessment: Once you have this done, you carry it around with you to secondary school, etc. I know my child well, I know his needs and I also know what he´s been through last year. I have seen children who don´t belong to the standard middle of the road group being branded through psychological assessment, and they suffer from that for the rest of their school years. Some children need help, some children are just that little bit different from others. The only problem with these children is that some teachers can´t cope, bevause it means thinking laterally. What would the world be like if we were all Middle of the road individuals?
Another thing is that my son showed his principal teachers some home truths, that she would rather not have seen, about her own behaviour in class.
Sometimes the teachers need assessments as well.



re : Clever 9 year old with difficult character           reply
14/01/2008 20:42 - Behaviour / Discipline
-----------------------------------
if the principal is willing to get him assessed through the school look on it as a positive thing..it may rule lots of things OUT, will cost you nothing and may give helpful suggestions as to how best help him .Reading your post you say he abuses the teachers and runs away,I don´t think the principal has a vendaetta s/he may be wrried about the reasons this happens.



re... : Clever 9 year old with difficult character           reply
04/03/2010 13:53 - Behaviour / Discipline
-----------------------------------
I totally agree with Wicklowmom in your own heart you know your son ,True out life we don´t always have to get on with people and he was going through a tough time himself and i think that should have been taken into account with the principal it was a learning curve for your son .If it were me i would ignore the Teacher in question and follow your instincts ,sometimes we are all too quick to judge and label kids ,so best of luck ,i bet he will turn out a fine man regards mother of four boys..



re... : Clever 9 year old with difficult character           reply
05/03/2010 13:31 - Behaviour / Discipline
-----------------------------------
My son had similar problems but we worked at it. He is very fair and honest and it is beyong his understanding that others are not. He gets very upset if he is cheated, We have worked on it and so has his teacher. Counting to three before you react. and "puting your anger in your pocket" worked for us. They can react more calmly then. Compromise was also a word he found hard to cope with but now it is not a problem. Even if in the right, a child who over reacts will be unpopular with children and teachers alike. Social skills, even if harder for our kids have to be learnt if they are to enjoy school. My guy had a few hairy days and I was on the lookout for a pychologist but suddenly the repeated requests to calm down , delay and keep your anger in your pocket started to have an effect. We teach our children to be good kind people , but we often forget to say that not everyone is and to teach them what to do in such cases.






discussion forum terms & conditions