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Parenting & Education in Ireland

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Parenting & Education

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How to Talk to Children about War



While the news and headlines are all focused on the war in Ukraine, you may be worried about the amount of information your child is hearing and reading. What they are told and need to know is dependant on age and personality and as their parent you are best placed to decide that.

Too much information


Consuming too much war news and updates can be a lot for a young child so be mindful how much the news is on. Many children will quietly consume the news without understanding much of what’s going on but it can sit and weigh on them if they are not reassured. Be mindful when discussing the war with other adults – ensure it is out of your child’s earshot and watch the news when they are playing away from the TV/Radio/phone or in bed.

Keep calm and collected


Adults will be finding it tough to read and hear about the conflict, and it’s ok to show your child you are upset for others in the world while also reassuring them they are safe and you are grateful for yours and theirs safety.

The key thing is keeping calm in front of your children, collect yourself and your emotions and explain the general conflict to them without too much detail.

Take their Lead


If your children are showing no interest, have no change in behaviour and seem oblivious, leave them be. Other children will ask a number of questions and they should be answered calmly and age appropriately. If you avoid answering the questions they ask, this can increase their worry. Encourage them to tell you what they know and confirm or correct what they say.

Teenagers will be more exposed through social media, their peers and adults around them, don’t avoid engaging them in conversation from time to time to help alleviate any worries they may have.

Teens will be more guarded in what they discuss so it would be advisable to check in with them about any questions and feelings they may have.

Reassurance


Children personalise things and can get quite worried for their own wellbeing. They will need reassurance that they are safe and loved and while war is a terrible thing, it is far away. Validate their feelings without shrugging them away. Keep everything in their day as normal and routine as possible. Children will often express their feelings through play or drawing so taking the time to play, colour and draw - letting them lead - can be helpful to them.

Be Realistic


Don’t make promises that nobody involved in the war is going to be hurt. Reiterate the fact they are safe without mentioning injuries or death but if you are asked questions around it, be honest without going into much detail.

Help


Give them a way to help – drawing pictures for children caught up in conflict, donating toys or supplies with you or donating some pocket money.

Some sources used to inform this article are:


SchoolDays.ie article written by Ciara Morgan





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