Schooldays.ie - Ireland's Online Resource for Parents & Teachers

Parenting & Education in Ireland

Help- 4 1/2 year old starting school problem

re : Help- 4 1/2 year old starting school problem           reply
08/10/2013 15:52 - Ask Mother Hen
-----------------------------------
All behaviour is protective and your son obviously got a fright when he got lost. Therefore, unconsciously at all costs, he wants to ensure that that does not happen again. It sounds like the school is dealing with it sensitively and that is great. He just needs a little time, lots of reassurance and support to feel more confident about venturing away from an adult where he feels safe. Staying with an adult in the yard or with you (instead of going to school which was threatening) offers security that just right now he is not feeling in himself.

Acknowledging a child’s feeling is always helpful ‘sounds like you got scared when you got lost in the yard that day honey, you must have been very confused’. Then following that with the reassurance that now he is more familiar with the yard and has identified someone he can go to if he has a worry or a concern (that is important).

Finally, reminding him of times something similar has happened and how well he coped and that it all turned out fine in the end. In other words, we need to show trust and belief in him that he has all the capability of taking care of himself and if concerned, that he needs someone kind that he go to seek help or support.

Managing your own anxiety is important too as children pick up if the parent is anxious and this can make them anxious too. Time, kindness and compassion for his scary experience therefore as well as confidence in him managing, help him to believe that he will be okay. What we mirror out (confidence in the child) they mirror back (I will be okay today Mummy).xx



re... : Help- 4 1/2 year old starting school problem           reply
08/10/2013 16:03 - Ask Mother Hen
-----------------------------------
Thanks Mother hen,, good advice



Help- 4 1/2 year old starting school problem           reply
02/10/2013 23:02 - Ask Mother Hen
-----------------------------------
Hi there,

Wondering if anyone came across this before. My son who is 4 1/2 started school in sept. On his second week they were allowed in the yard during lunch and when the bell rang he couldn´t find his line. He ended up going to a wrong class and got upset. Even since when they go out to the yard, all he wants to do is hold the teachers hand who is on duty and won´t go playing with the other kids. He gets so upset each morning going into school and crys. We have showed him where he needs to line up and have being encouraging him to go off playing with other kids but he still has the fear of getting lost. I obviously don´t want him to be in fear but at the same time want him to enjoy his playtime in school and hate seeing him upset in the mornings. Teacher advises that he is grand once I am gone and I believe her as he is in good form when collecting him. Any advice would be appreciated.




discussion forum terms & conditions