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My 11year old daughter is struggling at school

re... : My 11year old daughter is struggling at school           reply
25/06/2013 20:41 - Ask Mother Hen
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Thank you for replies. I think her big problem is separation anxiety. I was hospitalised in Dublin unexpectedly three years ago for two months and I think that was the trigger. I too would have been a very anxious child and quite the worrier. I would really like to help her while she is still young. The school have been great and very supportive but you still feel as a parent you are somehow failing. The school mention Kalms? its a free counselling service but I was wondering if anyone had experience with them.
Regards



My 11year old daughter is struggling at school           reply
19/06/2013 21:35 - Ask Mother Hen (Locality: Cork)
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Hi. My daughter is 11 years old and in 4th class. She is extremely well behaved in school and the teacher always praises her for being a good and kind child. But she is struggling. She has missed a lot of school this year -21 days. She is extremely attached to me also and her teacher says she can appear withdrawn and anxious in school. I did take her for some counselling sessions and her dad I separated few years ago but the counsellor seemed to think she was a happy child. I don´t know what to do? Maybe missing so much school didn´t help I know but any advice. She is a sensitive child and has some lovely friends but gets very upset by one or two of the girls in her class who can be very unkind.



re : My 11year old daughter is struggling at school           reply
20/06/2013 15:22 - Ask Mother Hen
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Having a child who is anxious is difficult and parents are unsure what to do. You mention in addition to her anxiety, that she can be withdrawn, sensitive and easily upset. All are indicators of self esteem difficulties. The two pillars of self esteem are:
That she feels loved, for who she is , not what she does. Spending time with her ensure she feel this, and show her that she is a special person whom you like to ´hang out´ with.
That she gets lots of opportunities to do things for herself and when this happens she feel good about herself and competence increases self esteem
Spending time (1:1 time) with a parent increases a child´s sense of security and she feels valued, loved and important in your life
Projecting confidence about her ability to manage herself in school can help her believe in herself more. Anxiety is something that can pass from parent to child or visa versa and the challenge is to move away from anxiety towards security, through breathing to relax, visualising etc. The parents job is Belief in the childs capacity, to remind the child of all their attributes and strengths and to put things in perspective after acknowledging that her feelings are normal. ´Catch her being good, and tell her what she is doing right all help. The best of luck.



re : My 11year old daughter is struggling at school           reply
20/06/2013 12:47 - Ask Mother Hen
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Have you thought of contacting the local HSE service for Psychologist services for children. They often deal with children suffering bullying etc.
Alternatively, would it be good for her to join some organisation like Brownies so as to mix with girls outside of the school environment or join a drama/ dance group to improve her confidence?
dm




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