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Parent teacher meeting hell

re... : Parent teacher meeting hell           reply
22/11/2011 17:19 - Introduce Yourself
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Sounds like you had a pretty tough parent teacher meeting! My advice, as a parent and a junior infant teacher, is to take a deep breath and step back for a minute. I don´t think that my colleague handled the situation very well, but I´m sure that any issues or difficulties raised are genuine concerns for the teacher. Things like pen grip, letter formation etc might sound like nit picking or overly picking on a child but it´s our job to notice these things and pass on our professional observations to the parents. Asking another teacher to observe your child is well within the teacher´s right to do, as it means that any problems or difficulties are being monitored and observed. It also means that teacher involved has been building a profile of your child´s progress before speaking to you and not running to you at the drop of a hat.I think you need to speak to the teacher again, and perhaps take notes to come back to. Please don´t go in on the offensive as this will not help anyone involved. Also, in years to come, wouldn´t you be happier to think that everything was done to give your child the best start possible, instead of potential problems being overlooked. If your child was diagnosed at a later stage, the teacher would be the first person to be blamed for not picking up on the problem and bringing it to your attention. I think the teacher has your child´s best interests at heart and I hope you can sort it out in an amicable way. If you need any advice from a junior infant teacher just shout. :-)



re... : Parent teacher meeting hell           reply
14/11/2008 14:43 - Introduce Yourself
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Hey just logged on and saw your message. I am getting more irate by the minute by this teachers attitude and the way she spoke to me about my son, it is absolutely inappropriate I assume you are probably feeling in a similar situation. I am in the same situation as you as he is in creche and they havent noticed any of the aspects she picked up on.

truthfully she is a supposedly qualified teacher and I am entrusting my childs eduactional welfare to her as you are with yourchild, it is very disconcerting that they are seemingly making up these problems about certain children in their classes. And what as parents can we really do because you fear if you confront the teacher that he/she will take it out on a vulnerable 4 year old. My child is already unhappy with the fact that the only comments she puts on his work are negative ones and stamps of sad faces.

I am going to request a meeting with the principle to discuss this and other issues that have arisen since he joined the school but I was on the verge of just pulling him out as was so upset and outraged at what she said about him.

It is very hard to know what to do for the best in these situations. Hopefully all will work out for you and your child and me and mine. Keep me updated if you dont mind on what happens with your situation as I would be interested in knowing how they deal with everything.



re... : Parent teacher meeting hell           reply
15/11/2008 12:37 - Introduce Yourself
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You all have very valid points here but in fairness if it showed later in life your child had a problem, the first one who would get the blame would be the teacher who hadn´t picked it up- I think teachers are taking an awful bashing here from people who have replied to this thread. I fully agree that this particular teacher didnt deal with this given situation correctly but come on, any teacher i know would not make up a problem! they might see signs of a problem



re : Parent teacher meeting hell           reply
14/11/2008 11:06 - Introduce Yourself
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I am having similar problems with my sons teacher also. Have had a meeting with her, she seems to think he is to young (41/2) (has been in day care since 6 months. He is unsociable!, can´t hold a pencil the list is endless. When in fact, he can write his own name, has a great group of friends, is absorbing everything, he is surprising me every day, especially his Irish. Now she wants to see me again! Have spoken to some other mothers and she apparently singles out a child every year and it the usual story, pencil holding etc. I am very upset at this stage, he loves going to school, the afterschool club and has no problem doing his homework. As parents we work fulltime but once home its family time as soon as dinner and homework is done. I have to meet her again next week and don´t know what to do at this stage. I don´t want to alienate her as she may or may not take it out on my son.



re... : Parent teacher meeting hell           reply
17/11/2008 16:43 - Introduce Yourself
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Hi again, in responce to the person that said teachers are getting a raw deal on this thread - I understand you are a teacher and are proberly a little touchy about this, but let me say a couple of my friends are teachers and totally agree with me that there are some teachers who have no children themselves and believe that they know a child better than the parents and can cause great anxiety for parents by speeking out of turn!! NOBODY knows a child better than his/her parents and no teacher has the right to cause a parent undue anxiety! Speak to the principal



re... : Parent teacher meeting hell           reply
03/12/2009 01:31 - Introduce Yourself
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I read most of the comments posted here and quite frankly I believe you are overreacting. Teachers are just as nervous (if not more) than you are about meeting parents. While most of you believe that this teacher has singled out a child to pick on, to me this sounds ridiculous! She may have been nervous when meeting you and did not know how to address her concerns. I know this is something that is difficult for me, but she is doing her job by reporting what she has been observing. While you may only have a few children (or maybe only 1) she has contact with many of the same age and she can let you know if your child´s abilities are at an appropriate level. While you may be amazed, his abilities might be substantially lower than what is expected for his age. Asking a special education teacher to observe your child is within her rights and quite professional. This means that she has requested another experts opinion to give her insight and suggestions on how to meet your child´s needs. I believe you need to sit with her again and ask questions. Why she thinks he is special needs and in what areas? If holding his pencil is a problem, then he might benefit from seeing an occupational therapist to help with his fine motor skills. Teachers are professionals and are with your child for a large portion of the day. They get to see your child interact with a large group of children. If your child does in fact have a learning disability or has special needs (By the way, this does not mean it is negative! I have a gifted child in my class. Giftedness is considered special needs!) it is beneficial to your child to get support as early as possible so he feels as though he can succeed and will be motivated to learn. I do not believe this teacher wants to label your child, but rather has his best interests at heart, special needs or not. Often times, it is hard to believe what a teacher is saying and it is only years later after several teachers have made the same comments year after year that parents are willing to admit that their child might benefit from being tested. A test will not harm your child, but might provide very important information about his specific learning styles, strengths and weaknesses.
Relax, breathe, and open your eyes. You are not a victim here!



re : Parent teacher meeting hell           reply
13/11/2008 21:37 - Introduce Yourself
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First of all, that had to have been a tough first p/t meeting and to be honest i think the teacher laid it on a bit thick, especially if you say she really only knows your child about 7-8 weeks. However as a teacher myself it is quite easy to pick up on kids who have learning difficulties, and learning difficulties is a lot different to special needs. I would be interested in knowing what her specific wording was? Also she was well within her right to ask another colleague to observe your child, but with regards getting your child properly assesed, you would have to be involved in all of those steps. I would recommend speaking to the principal in a calm manner, saying that you are concerned about her comments. Hope this helps a little



re... : Parent teacher meeting hell           reply
14/11/2008 11:09 - Introduce Yourself
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I think that the lack of consistency certainly is not helping this little boy! However, don’t panic! The term ‘special needs’ sets all kinds of alarm bells ringing with parents but in this case, maybe the teacher means that he needs some extra support. The system in schools is that children who need an extra bit of help with a particular item are taken in small numbers and given a bit more help by a learning support teacher. If your child needs extra help and you are lucky enough that the school has the resources to give this help, then the child will benefit enormously from the extra support. I think that you should arrange to speak to his teacher again and see how things are going. You were probably shocked at the meeting and couldn’t think! Talk to her again and ask her to explain the situation more clearly. Don’t be confrontational, that won’t help anyone, especially your little boy. Remember, a good relationship with his teacher is very important for all of you. Best of luck!





re : Parent teacher meeting hell           reply
19/11/2008 18:45 - Introduce Yourself
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Firstly,I am so sorry that some members of my profession have the sensitivity of a J.C.B. I really think that parent-teacher meetings are not the best place to discuss apparent problems because time is usually limited and you don´t want to be the one who is seen to be taking longer with the teacher.A separate appointment on a different day might be better. I´d say your best bet is to make an appointment with the Principal and discuss the situation calmly explaining your distress. He/she can find out what is the difficulty perceived by the teacher and get back to you. Good luck! ;)



re : Parent teacher meeting hell           reply
13/11/2008 13:25 - Introduce Yourself
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hi
i dont know about wether or not a special needs teacher can be asked to look or asess your child without your consent but you could try and find out from your parents council or contact the dept of education. Secondly i dont know if a special needs teacher would be able to assess a child properly. a quiet word with the principal make an appointment to see him/her about issues migh help at least you feel you are doing something
kayjay



re... : Parent teacher meeting hell           reply
17/11/2008 11:19 - Introduce Yourself
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I wrote to her and informed her it was unsuitable for me to meet with her any afternoon as it would require requesting a half day. So I suggested that I make it for before school starts. No problem there. He was missing for a few days because of sickness and phoned school to get his homework. When I spoke to her on the phone to arrange meeting she said he was back with a bang!!! whatever that means! Just have to wait for this meeting as she does´nt discuss anything over the phone. Spoke with one of his classmates (a girl), shes a right chatterbox and said he was good in class! I´m imagining all sorts. If I feel I´m not getting anywhere with her I will suggest bringing in the Principal.



re : Parent teacher meeting hell           reply
16/11/2008 14:24 - Introduce Yourself
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hi girl i would go straight to the principal and say to him/her what is happening in the classroom if you dont get any satisfaction from them go to the school board. it is a disgrace the teacher should have spoke to you first before getting anyone down to your child. some kids would think there is something wrong with them when they have a extra teacher with them you know yourself that there is nothing wrong with your child. i would hit this on the head and do something about it before it goes to far good luck



re... : Parent teacher meeting hell           reply
14/11/2008 17:03 - Introduce Yourself
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Dear perplexed, I read your msg with interest. I think there are two issues here. the first is the substance of what the teacher is telling you, and your reaction to that. I have found over the years in my kids school that the teachers do pick up on a child who is operating at a different level and have had an instance whereby a teacher has brought my daughters work to the attention of another teacher for a second opinion, I was told about this after the fact and was happy to discuss the issue because I valued her opinion. It would be no harm having your son assesed and get a second opinion outside the school. Boys can be better starting school a year later and this may be the case here. If he does need extra help it can be most benificial and with the education cuts it may not happen in the future. I have a friend whose daughter got extra reading help all through primary school, she did her juniior cert last year and got 7 A´s, so it can really count.
The second issue is more importantly the attitude of this teacher, I was shocked that a junior infant child would be given a stamp with a sad face, that is totally unacceptable no matter how scribbled the work is, I suspect she has labelled him already and this is not acceptable. It demotivates the child and upsets the parents, my 8 year old had a very strict teacher last year who constantly had negative comments about her work,I found it very wearing and it only helped to demotivate her, this year its a new teacher and all the comments are positive !and it makes such a difference to be encouraged. You have obviously had a breakdown of trust and respect with this teacher but dont whip him out of school because of this, maybe you should have a meeting with the teacher and principal and calmly put your concerns about your issues, she may have a point on his work or she may not, but you need to be happy that your little guy is getting a fair chance. I wish you all the best and hope it can be resolved asap.



re : Parent teacher meeting hell           reply
14/11/2008 19:13 - Introduce Yourself
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I can fully understand how upset you must be! I had a similiar pt meeting regarding one of my children 2 years ago where a teacher told me she thought my daughter had speech and hearing problems!! anyway to cut a long story short her hearing is perfect and she has gold medals now for speech&drama - so in short my advise would be, speek to the principal, speek to your family doctor and then take it from there - but above all dont panic and remember she is only a teacher not a medical professional and my guess is she has no kids of her own!! Good luck



Parent teacher meeting hell           reply
12/11/2008 15:24 - Introduce Yourself
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Hi there I was wondering if anyone can help me I was at my 4 1/2 yr old´s first PT meeting yesterday and the teacher told me she thinks that he has special needs and has already gotten the special needs teacher down to see him and she actually said that he as far as she is aware he doesnt. Does anyone know if she is allowed to get people in to assess him without informing me first. She has only been teaching them for 10 1/2 weeks he has missed 6 days due to illness and she has missed 2-3 weeks during which they have had temp teachers in. I have previously had issues with her but havent brought them to the attention of the school as didnt want to be known as "That Mother" from the start. Any suggestions or help on the assessment without consent would be appreciated.




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