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Child hating school

Child hating school           reply
23/09/2009 12:49 - Ask Mother Hen (Locality: Sligo)
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Hi Mother Hen,
I´m wondering if you have any ideas, my son has just started primary school and he hates it! Every morning is a battle to get him in there, he just tells me that school is boring (would love to know where he learnt that word) and he wants to stay at home. He´s 5 years old and he is ready for school, he is on the most part well behaved and seems to be happy once he gets in there but it´s getting him in there! The teacher has been great, she is trying on her end but it just seems that he has got it into his head that achool is not for him. He is bright and smart and he is very curious. What can I do? I don´t want to fight with him over it as I´m afraid I´ll turn him against school completely, any suggestions?
Thanks



re : Child hating school           reply
23/09/2009 17:01 - Ask Mother Hen
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Keep persisting. It´s only September. Ignore it and he´ll get tired of giving you grief after a while.



re : Child hating school           reply
24/09/2009 09:18 - Ask Mother Hen
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Hi,

Unfortunately, this can be a problem for many parents. The thrill and excitement of “Going to School” is short lived when the child decides it’s not what he/she thought.

As school is something he has to go to, I would suggest that you use some techniques to encourage him to get there. As you say once he gets there he’s happy. You don’t say if he attended pre school but if it’s his first time to be away from home that might be an issue for him. Assure him that you (or childminder etc.) will be there to collect him when he comes out and always make sure you are there on time.

Setting a routine is a good way to work with this problem. Start the night before by explaining to him that he’s a big boy now and has to attend school, like all other big boys and girls. Talk to him about the things he learned at school today and what he might learn tomorrow, friends he played with, how he had fun. Chatting like this may bring back good memories for him of the day and make him feel better about going the next day.

You could consider doing up a chart for each day that he gets up and ready for school with no complaints. A big star on the chart has an amazing affect on children at this age. If he gets say 3 or 4 stars on the chart in the week, then on Saturday he gets a treat. The treat can be a DVD rental, a library book or a special trip - it doesn’t have to cost a fortune. If he does cause a problem in the morning, try to remain calm and gently point out that he won’t get a star if he keeps behaving like this. If he doesn’t get a star today, he may get one tomorrow – it’s important to have hope!

It’s good you’ve alerted the teacher to the fact that he is acting this way. She can watch for progress and it’s important to keep in touch with her. It’s early days yet and may just be a phase and he will settle down soon. Try not to get yourself stressed over it!

Regards




re... : Child hating school           reply
26/09/2009 16:34 - Ask Mother Hen
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Encourage, distract and praise him. If that makes sense?



re... : Child hating school           reply
28/09/2009 09:36 - Ask Mother Hen
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OK first things thanks a million Goldilocks and Mother Hen! I´m trying to encourage him at night after bedtime story and telling him all the good things about school. He was in a creche before and somehow I think that has made matters worse! He´s used to being able to do what he wants (wtihin reason) in a room that looks like a classroom. To be honest it seems to be getting worse, he was crying this morning and all the other children just wanted to tell me what he was doing wrong. I really feel for him, as I know he´s acting out because of shame and embaressment. Any other ideas because my heart just keeps telling me to pick him up and run very fast! My head says keep going which is what I am doing! Any other ideas that would maek this uphill battle easier on my boy?




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