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TEACHER PARENT DISAGREEMENT WITH PUNNISHMENT IN MONTESSORI

re : TEACHER PARENT DISAGREEMENT WITH PUNNISHMENT IN MONTESSORI           reply
01/04/2011 18:17 - Ask Mother Hen
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Sorry, can I just ask "What is their reasoning on the children eating their fruit in certain order?" I do feel that some adults working in childcare let the ´power´ they have go to their heads. They need to remember, children are humans not robots!!!! I know how you feel as you are so new, but find out why they do it that way. There are some rules at my place that I have gradually managed to override. They may come around to your way of thinking without you making an issue of it.



re... : TEACHER PARENT DISAGREEMENT WITH PUNNISHMENT IN MONTESSORI           reply
03/04/2011 13:23 - Ask Mother Hen
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Hi thanks again for the comments!

I believe the reasons behind the majority of these issues is plain and simple control and power. These teachers say the children today have_in their exact words_ "too much choice". Personally I hate being in the room at snack time and listening to my child AND ALL THE CHILDREN being told "you have to eat all of your banana before you touch your cheese sandwich"...I give my child, and any child in my class, a choice, eat your snack,or if your not hungry, don´t. All snacks provided in my opinion are healthy food,breads,fruit,yoghurt, rice cakes...isn´t it better they are eating something rather than having a stand off because they don´t fancy some banana today!?Its not like they´ve been handed a bag of sweets!

I think retraining would really benefit. I wonder when they sat their Montessori course did they just learn the materials (3-6) and do nothing regarding positive behaviour management, child psychology,classroom management and being an adaptable teacher in following the child!



TEACHER PARENT DISAGREEMENT WITH PUNNISHMENT IN MONTESSORI           reply
23/03/2011 23:03 - Ask Mother Hen
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Hi everyone,i would be grateful of any feedback for or against what im about to write.
i work in a cresch/montessori and my child attends also. although it has its benefits, i feel i am seeing too much around the workplace that i do not like, and i am not sure if it is because my child is there or because i as a teacher disagree with some things other teachers are doing.
issue 1- punishment... the garden is being used as punishment of the children if they are misbehaving. i feel that the garden is part of a curriculum and if a child who is attending 8hours of cresch a day misses out on garden time it is a basic human right of fresh air and exercise being taken away from them, i also dont see the lesson in taking away garden time. 2-eating habits... a few of the teachers i work with seem to have the opinion that they can control what the children are to eat, an example is-giving each child a plate with three things on it for snack,then telling the children what to eat first second and third,and making a HUGE deal out of children not doing as they ask...this to me is wrong, i believe making an issue out of what way the children are eating is giving them fuel to argue with you about it, i also think that some children eat more/less than others and whilst food is offered,should not be forced (which is what i believe is happening). 3- whilst im a parent,and i am a teacher,i am finding it difficult to make my input known on these matters (a) because i dont want to be named and shamed as the fussy parent whose child can not be punished(i would like to note,my child like any other is not perfect,i am under no illusions about him), and (b) because i dont want to go against my work colleagues. sometimes i think maybe my methods could be interrupted as "making a perfect world that´s unrealistic" by these colleagues.What is your 2pemce worth on this matter. i dont want to let down my child or the children im working with by saying nothing about whats annoying me, i dont want to seem unreasonable either. im a little confused. help appreciated from mothers,,fathers and teachers!!!



re : TEACHER PARENT DISAGREEMENT WITH PUNNISHMENT IN MONTESSORI           reply
01/04/2011 18:11 - Ask Mother Hen
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I agree with others on this posting. UN Rights of the Child and common sense promotes outdoor play for social, emotional and physical development. By using this as a punishment, the child is more likely to misbehave later in the day. I am a Montessori Teacher and this kind of punishment is really not needed if you are managing the class properly. If they feel this is appropriate then just missing 3 minutes of play should be enough of a punishment, NOT the whole playtime. Positive behaviour management is much more effective. With regards to the fruit issue, then this goes totally against the ethos of Montessori Education - respect for each other. Forcing the children in this way is the opposite of what Montessori is all about, making decision for themselves. If you have no respect for the child, then how can you expect them to respect you!



re... : TEACHER PARENT DISAGREEMENT WITH PUNNISHMENT IN MONTESSORI           reply
03/04/2011 20:38 - Ask Mother Hen
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why dont you check if your local childcare committee is offering any training courses, check with IPPA and NCNA websites also and suggest that everyone does these courses so that everyone sings from the same sheet!
It must be awful you to be in this situation, but I would defintely let these teachers know in a nice way that what they are doing is not appropriate.
If this is what the children see as appropriate way of getting people to do what they want, this in turn is how they may behave.
defintely look into re-training for the entire childcare staff



re... : TEACHER PARENT DISAGREEMENT WITH PUNNISHMENT IN MONTESSORI           reply
03/04/2011 21:18 - Ask Mother Hen
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thanks a million, i´ll do that. i think its the politest way! ill fill you all in when i suss it out and let you all know what happens!



re : TEACHER PARENT DISAGREEMENT WITH PUNNISHMENT IN MONTESSORI           reply
14/07/2011 10:37 - Ask Mother Hen
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Hi there, so sorry to hear about your problem. Its an akward position to be in for sure. I note that you mentioned early on in the discussion that you didn´t think the owner / manager was aware of the situation. That should be your first port of call! It is your duty as a carer to make your manager aware of anything that you would consider unacceptable.
We all know that telling a child the order to eat their food in is incorrect and lets face it if you put a biscuit and a banana on the plate we all know what most children will pick first!
We all know that depriving the child of outdoor play is also not a good thing. Nobody is going to say they think it is a good idea. Here´s the thing though....if you don´t tell anybody then things can´t change! People in every workplace get into bad habits and sometimes its only when its pointed out to them they realise the error of their ways. There is obviously the wrong and right way of doing this. I would bring it to your managers attention immediately and have your suggestions ready for the new term in September. New term, fresh ideas type of attitude!
In my opinion children shouldn´t be given a snack by the service anyway, when in Montessori they should bring their own (obviously your healthy eating policy would apply and it would be appropriately packed in a cooler bag as per HSE guidelines). This way parents know what the child is getting, the child can discuss with the parents and perhaps even prepare their snack with their parent before school??. Can you imagine eating a biscuit, a banana and a glass of milk every day at the same time for 183 days of the year? Yuck!
Don´t waste time worrying about this...act on it and get it sorted. You´ll feel better for it!
Good luck x



re : TEACHER PARENT DISAGREEMENT WITH PUNNISHMENT IN MONTESSORI           reply
29/04/2011 10:54 - Ask Mother Hen
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This saddens my heart, I am a Montessori Teacher. Little children are so vulnerable and powerless. How cruel of any adult to use their power this way. Montessori training specifically stresses NO PUNISHMENT ! Anyhow, even if you were not a Montessori Teacher, it should be common sense not to punish sweet little pre-school children, or indeed any young child that has no understanding of what is happening. Surely by the time garden play comes around the child has completely forgotten what it was they did earlier and therefore the punishment does not even make sense and therefore achieves nothing . It makes me wonder do any of these teachers actually have any children of their own, or do they even like children? All this will do is make the child hate the teacher. As we all know children love to do good for those they like and will only act out for those they don´t like so what are they achieving with their punishment? other than personal satisfaction maybe? creeps!. As a teacher I would take no pleasure in a child behaving just because they were afraid of me and my punishment methods. Parents are handing over their most precious thing in all of the world to our trust and how saddened they would be if they realized this was happening while they are at work, already feeling guilty. I bet if the children were older it would not happen because older children can ´tell´ whereas the little sweeties are easily persuaded to forget with later bribes. You need to take a little control, regardless of the fact that you are a new staff member. There are ways to deal with difficult children, they need distraction and to be kept busy. When I have a difficult child , sure it takes up more time to begin with to keep them busy but it pays off. And whilst keeping them busy you use the garden play as motivatiion "isn´t it great, as soon as we are finished this work it will be time for garden play" etc. If the child is clearly not interested, you be patient, you say, "oh, are you tired today? well let me help you finish" of course you do most of it but let the child think they did, then praise them like crazy in the hope that this will encourage them to work next time. You can´t say "if you do your work I will let you go to the garden" because thats a bribe/threat, and you should not bribe/threaten, just encourage. This again is how Montessori training is taught and any teacher out there using punishment and bribes and threats ....they have no right to call themselves Montessori Teachers. Its exhausting dealing with the difficult child....but if you love children, which you should if working with them, this is how it should be done. Those of you out there working with children but maybe only like the good/well behaved ones, then you should not be working with children.



re : TEACHER PARENT DISAGREEMENT WITH PUNNISHMENT IN MONTESSORI           reply
30/11/2011 13:11 - Ask Mother Hen
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Hi there,
When choosing a creche,one of the first things i would look for is that my child will be respected as a human being. It is important for parents to talk with their children to see how such things may be affecting them. I was schooled by Nuns who are well known for strict rules in the classroom...Children need to be protected from the same system which does nothing only scare kids.
If i were you i would say it to the other teachers and make changes for the better!



re : TEACHER PARENT DISAGREEMENT WITH PUNNISHMENT IN MONTESSORI           reply
30/03/2011 12:05 - Ask Mother Hen
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Change immediatly..that´s way too much control..how is the child going to look forward to primary school..the idea of pre school is to encourage your child to grow as a person and an individual to learn to share, make friends, to develop as they should..some forget they are mini human beings too.....the garden as punishment is an appalling idea....prison is not as restricted as that....



re... : TEACHER PARENT DISAGREEMENT WITH PUNNISHMENT IN MONTESSORI           reply
09/07/2011 17:31 - Ask Mother Hen
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I completely disagree with depriving a small kiddie of play time - should a sanction be necessary, it has to be real, and immediate. And should not involve something so essential as playtime.
That said - I wouldnt be giving choices if I could avoid it - just causes trouble.
Surely - and I stand to be corrected - montessory school runs for 3 hours? So if a child is in school for eight hours, then it is n ot montessory, but in fact day care?
It does affect the approaches taken - Montessori has a curriculum, day care is day care.



re... : TEACHER PARENT DISAGREEMENT WITH PUNNISHMENT IN MONTESSORI           reply
31/03/2011 19:27 - Ask Mother Hen
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thank you for your input. i suppose my only hesitation is that i am still the new staff member, these other girls have been there since the school opened and are very close to the boss on a personal level. as a parent of a child in this place, everything else i must say is done to perfection, work with the children included. no expense is spared when it comes to materials or treats. im not sure the manager is aware that this is going on,nor the other parents. had i been told that this punishment was given to my child in another place i was paying for i would most definitely complain. i just feel tied because of my position as the new teacher. i understand though,from other reviews i have read, that i must say something. my wording must be perfect, and this simply can not be allowed and should be written into the policy and procedures handout as well as implemented.



re... : TEACHER PARENT DISAGREEMENT WITH PUNNISHMENT IN MONTESSORI           reply
13/04/2011 22:07 - Ask Mother Hen
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I dont think that you should hesitate in bringing the matter to the attention of the manager/owner. The punishment is unreasonable and the eating issue could really effect a chilcd´s self esteem. The teachers who are insiting on this sound as though they have issues themselves maybe with control or lack of and are taking it out on the children which is not fair. Both as a parent and as a teacher the right thing to do is to speak up.



re : TEACHER PARENT DISAGREEMENT WITH PUNNISHMENT IN MONTESSORI           reply
30/03/2011 14:13 - Ask Mother Hen
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As a Parent of three who worked in childcare for years, this souds horrible
You are right that this school is depriving the child of their rights to explore and be a child and by not allowing the child into the garden it seems unfair, unrealistic and against the childs rights as a child
perhaps leaving a copy of the un rights of the child on the desks of these individuals would be an idea
I would be extremely annoyed if I worked here and would have no hesitation of letting them know of my feelings and would go higher that their authority if needed
Children are children for such a short time, let that time be a happy, fun filled time, they will have enough restrictions in primary and secondary school
good luck with your decision, you will make the right one!



re : TEACHER PARENT DISAGREEMENT WITH PUNNISHMENT IN MONTESSORI           reply
25/03/2011 12:48 - Ask Mother Hen
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As a parent who has had children in Montessori, and one still in one until the end of the year. I would be appalled if I thought my child was been punished by not being let out to play for the whole day. As you say they need to be able to let off steam by running around and playing with their friends. I think for that age "time out" is a good way, of managing bad behaviour, I have 3 children and when they are younger, I felt it was the best way to explain that their bad behaviour was unacceptable. (The usual 1 min for their age, only works really up to a certain age).

As to the issue of telling them which order to eat their food, sounds more like a prison than a Montessori school/ crèche environment, I thought we were supposed to nurture our children and let them make their own decisions! What difference does it matter in which order they eat their snack; they seem more like control freaks than teachers and care providers!

As you are a parent of a child who attends this Montessori/Crèche, and you see it from the other side, how would you like it if it was happening to your child in another Montessori/Crèche, I am sure you would not be happy, and obviously you have issues with it. Can you approach the Manager/Owner?


Good luck in whatever you decide to do.






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