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confidence           reply
07/03/2011 14:18 - Ask Mother Hen (Locality: Mayo)
How can I help my son to have confidence in himself. He is starting secondary school in September and is so nervous. He did not want to enroll but stay back in 6th class for another year. He is so afraid of being bullied. he has had some experience of bullying this last year. We have been to the school and it was taken care of for a while but one of the boys has started again. My husband says he needs to toughen up and learn to defend himself. not exactly my opinion but maybe he is right. hubby reckons I keep making a baby out of him.
I just want him to not be afraid of these boys. He even thinks that they will be out to get him when he starts secondary school - these are even boys from other schools that he knows through soccer.
He just needs more confidence. he is a small boy but not the only small child.
i am so worried about him.

re... : confidence           reply
07/03/2011 19:22 - Ask Mother Hen
Hi Chris,
KCar suggestion is very good and would be worth exploring.
Many children are very nervous about starting secondary school. They are going from being the oldest group in their school to being the youngest group in secondary school. It is quite daunting but I am sure that your son is not the only one feeling this.
You can help to build your son´s self confidence in many ways. Make sure to spend plenty of one on one time with him, chat and do things that he enjoys together. Get his Dad to do the same. Notice when he does something or attempts something new and give him lots of encouragement. Don´t rush in and do it for him - his confidence will grow when he accomplishes tasks himself.
Remember too that the summer can make a huge difference to children of this age. You may find that by the end of August, he is excited about starting secondary school. Does he have a friend that is going to the same school? Perhaps they could arrange to go in to school together for the first few days? Similarly, is there an older boy in the secondary school that he could chat to and get more of an idea on what the school day is like? All of these things can help him.
There are some articles on this site about starting secondary school and there is also an article written by our team at Help Me To Parent on building your child´s self confidence on the following page:

I hope this helps. For now, tell your son to try to relax and enjoy his last few months of primary school and in the meantime, try some of the suggestions given.
Best of luck!

re : confidence           reply
07/03/2011 18:08 - Ask Mother Hen
Hi Chris,would your son be interested in self defence classes,ie kickboxing,karate etc,it would definitely boost his confidence and also he would learn the skills to take care of himself and make new friends,bullying seems to be getting all too common in primary school,is the secondary school he is going to start in be close to your home?if so why not move your son to a different school in another area for starting first year,you are obviously very annoyed about this situation and rightly so,it not nice to see your child distressed and i hope that things improve for you both,dont be to hard on yourself,take care kcar

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